Better Sleep
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Page 6
Look for a pattern, then ask a question Compare several days rather than selecting the worst night. Does the difficulty cluster around a late car nap, a particular journey, illness, or an unusually demanding day? Also look for nights when that factor was present but sleep was different. A pattern suggests a question; it does not prove a cause. Write a cautious conclusion: “Three late journeys included a nap and a later settling time.” That is more useful than “Car naps ruin sleep.” Share the record with the relevant professional when difficulties persist. The National Autistic Society describes sleep diaries as a way to make patterns and family impact easier to discuss. [3] Do not turn the log into a test Keep the record away from blame. There is no score for being a good sleeper or a good parent. If a teenager helps complete it, agree what will be recorded, who will see it, and why. Do not use personal notes to embarrass them. Stop collecting details that do not change a decision. A few clear entries may be enough to prepare a consultation. Continue only for an agreed purpose, and store the information privately. A Family Example One family wrote “bad night” after every difficult morning. Their new record separated settling from waking and showed that the main problem was a long awake period before sleep, rather than repeated waking. That distinction gave them a clearer questi
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Acknowledge what the child has expressed without confirming an imagined danger as fact. “That shadow looks worrying to you; let’s see what makes it” is different from promising that nothing upsetting can ever happen. If you do not yet understand, say so. Make adult availability predictable If you promise to return, make a promise you can keep and explain it in a way the child understands. “I am getting your water and coming back” may be clearer than “I will be nearby.” Do not disappear unexpectedly as a test of independence. Changes to adult presence should be planned around the child’s needs and family circumstances. If distress is substantial or persistent, seek professional support rather than repeatedly increasing the separation. A gradual plan is not the same as ignoring distress. When thoughts keep returning Agree a time and a way to discuss worries before the final bedtime step, when that is useful to the child. A brief written reminder of tomorrow’s confirmed plan may reduce one uncertainty. Avoid promising details that have not been arranged. If a question returns, consider whether the answer was understood, whether the plan is believable, or whether the child is seeking reassurance rather than new information. Ongoing anxiety that disrupts life needs appropriate support; a bedtime routine alone may not address it. A Family Example Dad had been saying “in a minute” and
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Pattern and timing When the difficulty began, how often it occurs, and what changed. Health observations Pain, breathing concerns, daytime tiredness, or other changes to report. Current products Medicines and supplements, with the written directions provided. Family impact Effects on the child, caregivers, school, travel, and safe care. Next steps Advice received, who will act, and when to follow up. Review the Plan Use several ordinary examples. One easier night does not prove a cause, and one difficult night does not erase a useful change. Change tried What changed, when, and why? Child’s experience Communication, comfort, distress, and daytime effect. Night pattern What happened to settling or waking across several occasions? Other factors Illness, travel, caregiver changes, or anything affecting the comparison. Next decision Keep, adapt, stop, or seek advice, with a brief reason. Responsibility Who will follow up, what they will do, and when. A Worked Plan: Make the Evening Predictable Find the point of uncertainty In this fictional family, bedtime becomes difficult when the adults announce several tasks at once. The child does not know whether a story will follow washing or whether play is over immediately. The parents first describe what happens, including night waking or discomfort, rather than concluding that the child needs a stricter bedtime. 21
Better Sleep is a practical guide for families dealing with bedtime difficulties, night waking, anxiety, irregular routines, and exhaustion.
The book helps parents understand the possible reasons behind sleep challenges and build safe, predictable, and sustainable nights without blame or unrealistic expectations. It includes guidance for creating a calming bedtime routine, adapting the sleep environment, keeping a useful sleep log, responding to nighttime waking, managing travel and temporary changes, and knowing when professional assessment may be needed.
Includes practical tools and illustrated social stories.
Digital PDF edition. Written by Moses Ovadia.